Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
