it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
ok first of all what the fuck
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
