Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
