I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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