it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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