hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
