rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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