yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
