did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
