i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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