I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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