Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
