I want to stick my p in your. b.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
