not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
