He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
