I got chris browned last night
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm both gender and math confused
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
