You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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