Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize
