You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
