It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she pinky promised me she was 18
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm always down for nudity.
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