Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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