so explain again why im purple
no
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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