We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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