I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
