There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
