you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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