I can text with my tongue
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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