he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
