I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
