i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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