Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I want to fling myself into the sun
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
