It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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