It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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