so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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