he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
