In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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