So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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