i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
