I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize