i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
