i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
