im holly from the hills drunk
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
