I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize
