Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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