Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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