thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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