All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
