Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
