He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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