So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
we made out on top of his cat.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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