That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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