Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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