so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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