I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
