First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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