addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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