Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
