can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
