so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just googled if crying burns calories
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
