Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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