Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
