i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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