I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
