I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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