Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
